3 Fashion Truths I Had to Accept
Nobody likes to accept hard truths, least of all the ones that sit contrary to our internal beliefs. This year I had to face up to quite a few of these which I feel has changed my relationship with fashion to a place where I’m not quite sure what’s next.
I’m sure that some of you will have gone through similar experiences and thoughts. If you’re in the middle of any of these now, then know that you are not alone.
1. Your body will change, and your wardrobe with it.
I have spent years and too much money to count trying to figure out my style, what works for my body type, what little things make or break a garment for me and so much more. So at the age of 25 I felt like I had finally figured out my wardrobe to the point where I was reasonably happy with more than half of it.
Then most of my clothes stopped fitting. And I panicked.
Being able to fit into the same clothes as I had as a teenager gave me the idea that I’d be able to wear the garments I had treasured for so long for maybe the rest of my life. It’s part of why I was slowly becoming more accepting of investing in higher quality garments recently. Behind this was years of issues with a range of food, overwhelming anxiety that caused near constant nausea, and trying desperately to gain weight with little success. It truly is complicated and it took me a long time to even realise that this whole situation was not good for me because the media we are surrounded with worships being thin above all else and nobody else saw it as a problem.
I didn’t think much of trousers feeling more snug when I’d left them a bit loose taking in the waist. I held in my stomach a bit more wearing my favourite skirts without realising it. Getting changed into comfy clothes at home let me breathe more freely.
When I realised that this was the case I felt heartbroken at the inevitable loss of all my recent favourite clothes. I’d invested so much in the process of searching shops and scouring Vinted to build a wardrobe that was just right for me and now it was ruined. It wasn’t feasible to alter most of what didn’t fit anymore so all I could really do was replace what I could no longer wear.
I felt like I had been betrayed by my body in a way. It was a weird response to actively trying to put on weight. Surely this is what I had wanted all along?
Somehow the two results weren’t connected in my brain.
As a result I’ve been on the lookout for adjustable clothing. I do wear oversized or generally more loose clothing every once in a while but you shouldn’t be forced to stick with certain fits out of fear. I think that adjustable garments are a great solution to our bodies changing over time and it would mean that the garments we buy wouldn’t be at risk of not fitting later anymore.
I recently picked up this wrap skirt as an adjustable waist option that looked a little different to what you’d find on the high street.
Yes, it has pockets!
But it’s suprisingly difficult to find adjustable garments. Sure, there are plenty of wrap dresses about but what about trousers and skirts? Elastic waists can only do so much and honestly they were never that comfortable in the first place. I’ve found a few garments in the last few months and I’m considering some alterations to pieces already in my wardrobe but it’s been difficult to implement the change.
My whole mindset around what I’m looking for in new (to me) clothing has completely changed. However, the online community who post real bodies and why we need to nurture them have been great for making me realise that it’s entirely okay.
2. Social Media Is Not Representative of Normal Wardobes
I can be described as “chronically online” with an outrageous daily screen time. Part of it is my job but a much bigger part is looking for inspiration, validation, entertainment, education, and connection. Sometimes we find it in online communities, hopping on trends, and relatable memes. But a much larger part of what we find (at least in my experience) is exaggerated stories, clickbait that doesn’t deliver, and products being marketed as holy grails so that influencers can gain a commission.
We all know that social media is not reality to some extent based on our own use of it. If we only ever post our highlights and happy moments then of course everyone else is likely doing something similar. But somehow that second part doesn’t often sink in.
And so when we’re being shown worryingly frequent hauls, multiple PR events a week, and houses full to the brim with endless junk we start to think that maybe we want it too. Everyone in the comments seems to approve so it must be normal, right? I’ve personally fallen victim to this and filmed hauls for the sake of content in the early days of my YouTube channel which goes to show that anyone can fall into the trap of consumerism.
When we spend a large amount of time on social media our understanding of what is normal gets warped.
As a completely boring example, I spent ages digitally cleaning up the graffiti sprayed onto the building on the right of this photo. For even simple outfit photos there’s a weird pressure to pretend the world around us is perfect too.
Just because you see someone wearing a large variety of outfits across their content doesn’t mean that having a huge wardrobe and hundreds of garments is something that everyone has. Seeing people share their thrifting trips multiple times a week doesn’t mean that going shopping and buying things that often is a normal or affordable experience. Watching a creator’s regularly scheduled clothes hauls and wardrobe clearouts doesn’t mean that going through this cycle multiple times a year is typical.
What people do for the purpose of making content is not consistently true to their real life behaviour in a lot of cases simply because they are in a position of wanting people to engage with what they post online. And when you spend more time online than with your real life friends and family, you start to believe that what you see on social media is experienced widely.
Keeping this in mind and staying critical of social media (being aware of the #AD and *PR disclaimers is a start) helped me to distance myself from the belief that overconsumption and being able to afford to regularly buy new things is normal. This has realigned my perspective of what regular wardrobes look like and helped reduce the pressure of needing to own as much as possible.
3. There Is No Perfect Sustainable Fashion Option
Slow fashion is something I’ve been taking part in since 2020 and learning more about over time. There can be a lot of pressure in this community to do things “right” and be “truly sustainable”. I’ve often seen arguments break out around what the best approach is in the comments of a post trying to share something positive.
Honestly, I’ve been overwhelmed by the volume of educational content that points out everything we’ve been doing wrong. I think it's wonderful that so many passionate people are sharing posts about fast fashion and how damaging it is but it can be hard to feel positive after taking it all in.
Throughout all this I’ve been searching for what I should be doing instead of shopping fast fashion. What is the best option? What does the least harm? Is it accessible to me?
My go to currently is secondhand shopping because it’s affordable and there are plenty of options. But is buying fast fashion garments secondhand sustainable enough?
The longer I have to go through all the options and asses how difficult it might be to get involved with, the less certain I am about the difference I’m making. For every option I explore, there seem to be massive drawbacks.
Clothing swaps are great but if there are none nearby hosting one myself feels impossible. Paying a large portion of my monthly income to buy one slow fashion garment is out of my budget. Spending hours trawling through charity shop offerings and not finding anything I like feels like a massive waste of time. Creating a garment from scratch requires tools, supplies, and plenty of time that I can’t seem to find.
I’m sure most people face similar thoughts when considering their options for taking part in slow fashion. One thought in particular echoes in my head much more loudly than the rest.
Any good I do will never make up for the people that don’t care about sustainability.
No matter what I do it feels like I cannot make a big enough difference to change anything. Agonising over what slow fashion option I should pick for the garment I need pales in comparison to regular Shein hauls that get dumped in charity shops a few months later.
The reality is that there is no single sustainable fashion option for any one person to pick. The important thing is for people to make more informed decisions and pick something that is better instead of perfect.
Taking time to reflect on the things that influence your decisions can be useful in identifying any harmful behaviours and figuring out how to minimise them. Writing my thoughts up like this helped me see that I’ve made a lot of changes in recent months even though it hasn’t felt like it.
What fashion truths have you faced recently?
